The Adventures of Debater Lad

the world is going friggin nuts.

2006-03-31T06:49:00.000-08:00

So, on account afiq started blogging again i felt compelled to do so myself. So yeah.

First and foremost I'm sick and tired of this pseudo-democratic election propoganda dipshit-ass bullshit. It's ridiculous enough we're being fed this crap by Mrs Singh and Mrs Pang ( in what ive decided to call "Miss Singapore" speeches, i mean holy shit.. cut the whole "we're all stars that can shine brightly in our own.." SHUT THE FUCK UP. We're not children, we dont need you to validate our self worth. Neither do we need you to waste our precious time in the hall. Time meant for flicking people in the back and irritating them. STOP TAKING AWAY MY GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO FLICK SOME DIPSHIT IN THE ASS.) Right. I shouldnt digress. Anyways. If you think about it, how many articles do we have in the papers with regards to the campaigns of opposition parties as compared to the PAP, all im hearing is tt old bastard saying some shit about "non constituency MPs". The senile old dumbass doesnt even believe that there's a minute chance of a predicament in which there is any competition. I reckon the elections are just a way to give Singaporeans a false sense of importance, like we're making a difference. I say we wear a bunch of shitty looking masks and bomb the goddamn fullerton! Though it would be a pity, high tea there kicks as much ass as beef gravy. And beef gravy kicks ass. (Idea stolen from V for Vendetta, official Marvin's choice for kickass movie of the year.) I've had enough of Michael Palmer and Jessica Tan and all those other new PAP dipshits. Give me a god damn democracy and maybe ill stop flipping you off, ass holes.

Oh yeah, and another thing. I, along with the rest of the universe, disrespect anyone who smokes. You may be my friends, but by touching a cigarette all respect that has been built over 4 years is now gone. You want me to respect you enough to let you make your own decision. Here's my answer. No. If you're self-loathing enough to subject yourself to smoking then you dont deserve anyones respect. For giving in to temptation, you deserve no one's respect. And for thinking its cool, you deserve a BIG BIG FUCK YOU. When will smokers realise that you smell bad, look bad and emitt and aura of filth and stupidity when you smoke. GIRLS DONT DIG THAT SHIT. if you wanna pick up girls, drag your ass to the gym and buy some damn cologne. Smoking wont help you get girls nor will it help you be accepted. Smoking will just kill you, and hate me for caring enough to try to make you guys stop, but believe me, I will not give up.

Im outta here i wanna watch South Park. Peace.

Slimes when slimes are due

2005-12-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

Ok. Two people have pissed me off so much i feel like ripping off their testicles, tieing their nipples together with razor barbed wire, slicing em up into pieces, making their organs into haggis and spraying molten iron into their assholes.ok lets address em one at a time.

Dear dumbass retarded dipshit ass-wipe (not the three ply one's that make you feel your wiping your ass with silk mind you, the one's that feel like fucking sandpaper and cut your ass hole and result in piles.),

For fucks sake. Your asking shaf to get a life, yet you get kicks from taggin the worst, most disgustingly pathetic and frankly the most poorly composed insults ive ever heard. Take your own advice you faggot ass ninny. Your so incredulously stupid you think that your being very clever. Newsflash. Your an ugly, lonely pathetic dipshit whose life would be worth more if you rip your large intestines out, give it to a clown and let him blow it up and give it to some nice kid. Its people like you that frankly piss the shit out of me, the pathetic scum who leave third-rate insults at other peoples blogs and think their really clever, i feel like fucking putting the lot of you dumbasses into a mosquito net, eat a burrito, and then fart in it. And another thing, if your too much of a coward to put you name down, your obviously an insecure prick, scared that someone like me'll come and shove a bratwurst up your anus. Just because your destined to become a grabage collector, or that you inherited your parents ugliness and stupidity, it doesnt mean you can go round inflicting your stupidity on us intelligent people destined for great things in life. Look its not our fault your ugly, stupid and that you exist. Go blame your dad for his poor quality sperm and your mum for just being so damn ugly, and leave Shaf the fuck alone. I dont even know her that well, but you pissed me off you little wanker, ask anybody and you'll know thats not a smart thing to do. I hope you get hit by a fucking bus, get propelled 70 m on the rough asphalt while facing down, get your nipples and dick ripped off in the process, and after which (though it'd be nice for you to experience a little more pain) DIE.

Your Lord and Master,

Marvin "My parents are way better looking than yours and you have a small dick" Miranda.

Ive decided to blog about the other person tomorrow. So yeah.

Behind the mask

2005-12-15T02:33:00.000-08:00

I wanna start updating coz im so pissed off about so many things its ridiculous. So i reckon the best way to vent my anger is through blogging. Here goes.

Am i not good enough for you? Yeah I do make mistakes, but for fucks sake, who doesnt. You havent exactly been perfect, I dont help the household, i dont do enough for you? Fuck there're kids out there who dont do squat, when will you see that your lucky to have me. i could be some fucking junkie who never comes home, you know this is the problem with society, everyone seems to want to find fault in everything they have and dont take enough time to appreciate it. So Maisha achieves much more than me in almost all areas, i look up to her, but why the fuck cant you see that im not Maisha and that i will never be able to be as good as she is. But i am talented in my own ways mind you, and you'll do well to appreciate me. Ive been baby sitting that useless lazy fatass of a younger sister for HOW MANY FUCKING DAYS ALREADY. Have you thanked me? I dont appreciate what YOU do. I DONT ASK YOU TO DO THE STUFF THAT YOU DO! BUT YOU FORCE ME TO BABYSIT THAT BRAINLESS LAZY UGLY STEAMING PILE OF COW SHIT AND I DO IT WITHOUT COMPLAINS. And no, i didnt get a thank you. And why do you always take her side anyway, when she does something to me you always say stuff like "she probably learnt it from you" EVEN IF SHE DID IT DOESNT MAKE DOING IT RIGHT. Let her fucking carry on doing this bullshit and her minute brain will finally process the fact that ur too stupid to punish her for anything. Keep giving in, go on, i dont really care, ultimately it's to her demise, when she weighs fucking 200 pounds and has high blood pressure and diabetes, oh yeah, then (oh and how sweet this will feel) all you'll get from me is an "i told you so". I hate my little sister, i really really do, its sad i know, dont get me wrong i would protect her if i had to, i just hate her personality and the very sight of her makes me sick.

I love you mom. But your just being an unappreciative and over zealous bitch right now and i cant deal with you. I'll put in a real post tomorrow. Promise. I feel alot better now actually. Peace.

You will not stifle my indignation...

2005-10-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, my blog is back up and ill be updating now. As you probably aleady know im working on my religion 101 report and it'll be up soon. So right now, im just gonna give you my views on the blogging issue.

As i've said before, a blog is defined as an online diary and a diary is a place where u write you feelings, regardless of what others think.. however there are limitations, the racist bastards who wrote that bullshit about muslims deserve to be in jail. But cursing teachers on blogs being banned is ridiculous... come on, why cant you ignoramuses just realise that not everyone will like you and that you just shouldnt give two shits. Of course the usage of vulgarities is abit extreme, but if a teacher has treated a student badly or unfairly isnt the teacher liable to be rectified, and surely its understandable if the student expresses it explicitly, i mean, if you've been done an injustice of course you'd feel angry and sometimes our tempers get the better of us. The measures being implemented are proof of our countries rigidity and the governments never-ending quest to stifle any form of originality and self-expression however minute and remove it completely from existence. By doing so how is the oligarchy, as practised here, any different from Nazism.. Just like Germany under the Nazis, we are unable to speak our mind, we support everything our government implements and we are too afraid to question them. What is democracy if we do not express our views, it is not the governments fault that we are being treated this way, it's ours, our lack of initiative and the mindset that we cannot make a difference is weighing us down and allowing ourselves to be subjected to ridiculous rules set by our government, call me a fool for challenging authority but if Singaporeans were as ready to express their views, I'd be cursing every hair on Mrs Thong's body right now. Peace.

You lift me up?

2005-09-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, today im feeling really peppy and my self esteem is at an all time high. Eh you should have seen me todae when i went to make my IC, i looked HOT ok. Haha, thick skin that knows no bounds. Anyways liya dear, please take that photo off, as you can see im not at all photogenic. So had lessons todae, did so-so, borderlined chem and got a 16 for history. Not bad, but i lost to morning glory which is a major bummer. Somehow JOANNE, my being smarter than you is getting harder and harder to prove. ( I am also determined to make sure she isnt better than me in guitar!). Rivalries are good, makes me push myself. OH and i fell down the stairs and slammed my elbow on one of the steps, agonising. It got all swollen and shit but when i went home and put an ice pack on it the swelling when down and i wrapped it in a bandage. Yes i fell off the stairs,its not been a good day for my clothes, firstly my damned zipper didnt work (you really REALLY dont wanna know) and my buckle broke when i slipped on the stairs. Someone has to do something about those wet stairs. The world isnt a safe place in riverside.. tsk tsk. Anyways, i went home fixed up my elbow took a shower and went to make my IC with Cher. As i stated just now.. i think i was looking really good. (and i dont say that often, REALLY!) Come on lah this happens ever so rarely, let me enjoy it. For some reason hugo boss doesnt work with that get-up though, i should have used the Ck. I want Hugo energy! Ok fine... cologne is expensive and i really should not go further into debt. (just ask asfar). I just realise that with the right amount of stuff the ugliest sad sack in the universe could look good, just know how to take care of your image and anyone, really, can look fine. So after the whole Ic thing (which was pleasant and surprisingly efficient, kudos to the creators of "tao gae not enough") i went with cher to eat at raffles city, its such a pretty shopping mall seriously, and then there was that AMAZING shirt in tommy hilfiger, i MUST HAVE IT. Anyway i had a foot long italian blt at subway (hey, big guys gotta eat.) It was shiok. Anyways, got back on the train, which was suprisingly empty and went home. On the way home, i was filled with mixed emotions, (somehow trains make me go into the trance like state of discovery.)Doesnt the loneliness get to anyone except me? Maybe im just weird. Oh an lucas died in one tree hill, no lah he, well sort of died, you know how soaps are. Payton is SO FINE. Why cant he just stick to whats-that-other-girls-name and give payton to me.hah. im going nuts. Must be tt falling off the stairs. Peace.

Project Unstoppable

2005-09-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

Finally im updating, sorry but ive just been too damn lazy. Anyhoos, as you guys can see I've changed my blog up abit, im not gonna add a skin, i like the plain look, makes my blog look like a newsletter, which is the look i was going for so yeah.

I've been getting really frustrated, look i seriously dont like anybody right now, so i've had a couple of crushes, picky picky picky, it still doesnt give u guys the right to spread lies aight. Its all superficial rubbsih anyway. So please, for real, rumours have to stop.

So my results are pretty ok so far i guess, ive done a 19/25 for english (not bad, but I know i can do better.) 22/40 for maths (i sure as hell HAVE to do better to pass overall) and 28/50 for physics( I'm gonna have to do better coz my chemistry is bullocks.) I'm quite happy, I've worked umm, decently hard. Yup. You better believe it. Marvin Miranda STUDIED.

Anyways, have you guys ever had that empty sinking feeling inside of you, like there's this abyssal hole in your heart that just has to be filled, and all the warmth and happiness and passion are being leeched out of you? Of course you have,Im feeling that way right now, like some fiendish vampire is sucking the essence of my life from inside of me, and yet, i cannot do anything about it. Where's my supergirl? I wanna be saved from this boundless agony.

Haha, too dramatric right? I should write a play. Anyways, im going to see the maid, which probably means weeks of my blanket being over my head while i sleep and some serious theatre freaking out. God, im such a pussy. Peace.

Just the usual shit.

2005-08-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Ok so maybe i shouldnt be so ecstatic over a 22/40 for maths... but hey, it's the first time ive passed the whole year, and well (sorry liya) but the fact that i beat you makes me feel so immensely good. Hee hee, poor Shakir though, strong guy, physically and mentally, but sometimes its good to break down, it helps us become more human, and plus, nothing really feels better in a bad situation than a good cry, dude, stay strong man, theres always the end of years, and plus, we've gotta beat Joanne's lot in mind mapping man! Haha. Well as for myself i had fun playing lah, but i really stink in soccer (im more of a raquet kinda guy) but hey, its good fun, and hammering lloyd did feel oh so good. Oh fyi, we lost 3-0. -_-'' Hah, life's a bitch.

Hmm... for some strange reason my pick seems to constantly fly out of my hand while im playing, its frustrating, but in a comical kinda way, which (if your not playing of course) is rather amusing to see happen. I wana learn some new songs... and Marjorie you HAVE to teach me look what you've done. I just cant get enough of that song, its so awesome. Anyhoos, i must say that im improving, im glad i got this guitar, it feels great to just come home and whack on it after a long day... it's a great way to vent anger, which of late has proven very useful. BUT, lets not talk about that. Oh and marjorie sorry i gave you "the look" when u sprayed tt shit in my ear, i wasnt in the mood,you know, on account we kinda just got spanked by 3/8? And plus joanne was around (no offence joanne, but after the whole kamilliya situation im finding it hard to communicate with you in any way.) However something else Marjorie said bothered me, when i stared at her angrilliy she said "dont write it in your blog" or something to that extent, hey people, this blog just states how i feel, i only insult people when they deserve it. So.. umm.. yeah. Thats about all i got, theres really little stuff to write about these days, anyhoots, tomorow is the debate finals, and i have to go coz im the "captain", god, i have DEFINITELY been misled, coz i thought being the captain was a GOOD thing, damn, its like im some kind of overworked drool monkey, now i know how aziz feels. Peace.

operation blood-hot

2005-08-24T03:52:00.000-07:00

Ok i admit tt ive been rather mean, or potentially hurtful this past week, and to anyone and everyone ive offended, a sincere apology. I cant say tt ive been studying a whole lot, but the studying is sort of getting to me, as are the agonizing three hour tuitions. So sorry. Yeah. My coffee problem isnt helping much either... yeah.. i have a coffee addiction, which basically means i drink 4-6 mugs a day and also certifys that ill probably die of a heart attack at forty. No shit. I just find it so hard to function without coffee, and nescafe gold is just so so good. It makes you feel all cool and perky and sorta gives you that "umph" u need to get urself going. But thiis is really terrible and makes me an immense hypocrite because of my anti-smoking thing. God, i have to stop.

So todae lessons were allright, the physics paper is suppposedly simple but in my case very much flunkable. Job asked us to start on our end of year prepatory work todae, i did, but dear marjorie and sarah seemed to have "forgotten" their sketch books, damn thats convenient. Mr Chan tried to get through some of the syllabus but persistent complains led to a ghost story session, cool, but perhaps we shouldnt have done that, we have to complete the syllabus people, and considering many of us just flunked physics, we should get back in sync, this especially goes foor joon kiat and sam, wake up guys, coz repeating aint gonna be pretty. I have to say Mr Mahmood's lesson was really awesome, its been awhile since i let loose and made a fool of myself, it is extremely fun, and strangely relaxing for some queer reason. We had to do this sort of "debate" thing, the word does kinda tick me off, considering the team's loss, double whammy as im the captain, BUT this lesson debate thing was incredibly fun. I'm still slightly pissed with Marjorie and Liya, for which reasons are obvious.. but im getting over it, but im making a note never to trust either. And Joanne dear,dont tie up your hair, it looks strange. Look who's talking, i just cut my hair, and however cooling it is, it looks spiny and weird. But whatever. Whatever. Im feeling so drained, i need a coffee real bad... but.. abstinence is the best way to preventunwanted pregnancies. (how the hell is that related anyhoots...) Peace.

Anger management.

2005-08-22T05:40:00.000-07:00

Now people, ive been very frustrated of late, wild assumptions, based on nothing but supposed "instict" has left me in an extremely vexing predicament. Now, however juvenile or immature this may sound, you guys are gonna have to take it, because its becoming a real issue in my life an issue that needs to be addressed. I DO NOT LIKE JOANNE. God damn it Marjorie, your enough of a problem already, so stop creating them, find someone else's life to mess with, because im sick of taking your overly sensitive crap, look i really dont know nor care if u have family problems, frankly its none of my business, ive been holding back for awhile now marjorie and pretty soon im gonna blow and its not going to be pretty. Look, maybe i USED to like Joanne, back when Shakir did (a weird coincidence id rather not talk about) and yes, it is true that i feel intelligence is extremely attractive, but does tt mean im referring to joanne? It is also true tt i admire many of her qualities, i say she's pretty, i say she's smart, i say she's talented, this is all true, but i admire the qualities of many people, not just joanne, and basing an assumption on my looking up to someone is quite simply idiotic. So thats it, i dont like her. You know whats interesting though, all this time ive been trying to be this adult, this person who is unaffected by this bgr rubbish, this person who addresses adult issues, but ultimately, you just cant escape reality can you?

On the lighter side, what kind of blogger names his blog "enema of the parliament" and doesnt at least give his views after the prime minister's address right? So here goes, now i must admit that i feel tt the measures the government are taking to ensure us safe passage to and through the future are actually rather impressive, however i do also feel that these measures should have been put in place much earlier, and that if these steps had been put into action then, we would be reaping the benefits now, instead of later, and as the time passes, so does the immense revenue these projects will bring in. There is however one part of the address i particularly enjoyed, yup, "Tao Gae not enough" and "Tao Gae never enough" did intrigue me very much, and im am very glad tt our dictators have actually addressed this issue, finally, their starting to address REAL problems. Singaporeans are rude, plain and simple, if you see some dude you dont know in the morning and say good morning to him, he'll probably think your trying to rape him or something. Now, in Australia or the States, when u say hi to a person in the morning u get a friendly, warm smile and a good morning thrown right back at'chya. Thats what we need to work towards, thats why i think that Ling Xing is really cool, coz she says a quirky good morning to me almost every day and it almost always makes me feel a little better inside, then i think, wait a minute, she's malaysian. Go figure huh, Malaysians are much more courteous then we are, then again, thats not really saying much is it? Believe me, one "good morning" and a nice big smile really can make a whole lot of difference.

To everyone, im sorry if i seem a little grumpy lately, its just the debate loss has been getting to me and shit, and theres the tests and the whole marjorie-joanne fiasco... so.. my grumpyness really is warranted. Peace.

Beautiful soul.

2005-08-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed I am a very opinionated person, but a person none the less... and it is only human to feel how i feel. Crushes are natural, somewhat healthy even. But ultimately they are unnecessary.... I feel so so guilty... and this is irritating.. and aggrevatingly inconvenient. Yes probably one of the hormone surges... stupid god damned hormones.. but it is a natural to feel somewhat attracted to members of the opposite sex sometimes.. but unfortunately, in my case this seems to be happening oh too often... =/

However you all do know me to be a strongly against the superficial mindsets of the average Singaporean. Therefore i can firmly say that i do not go for looks, (though i wouldnt really say no to Angelina Jolie, she SO wants me.) They just sort of serve as a perky side, a cool bonus so to speak. I am in fact extremely attracted to intelligence... a girl who can express herself well not only through words but through writing or music is as attractive as any show of cleavage or any short skirt that i know of. Intelligence is rare... beauty really isnt.

Yes i do suffer the usual, " wow she's so gorgeous/ perfect/ god knows..." but i keep telling myself that it is never gonna happen, yeah im no anti bgr.. but i dont know, i'm just usually the problem in a relationship... She is however so amazingly perfect... *slaps self* aint gonna happen dude.

Conggratulations to SPG by the way, she is an intelligent girl and i knew she'd make it into the papers one day. Good on ya.

Sorry people.. no usual talk of old ugly presidents or how i hate the system today. Just me. Peace.

Just the Lo-down.

2005-08-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

Ok so i havent updated at least once a week as i promised myself... ah well. You'll just have to deal with it havent you? Fine.. i will try to update as often as possible, just please do comment, having no comments is so god damned irritating! (sorry but it really gives my blog no reason for existence).

Here we go... well my birthday was pretty allright.. not many wishes, an extremely cute one from liya, a couple of guys tt weren't important enough to remember and i think afiq gave me one too so yeah. Didnt get many presents, but got a guitar with my birthday money, been wanting to take it up, and dear marjorie has been pushing me in the right direction with her constant *you dont know squat about music* lecture, but ive been practising hard, and im quite proud of myself. Though im not exactly joanne on a piano, zak on a guitar and qib on drums but hey, u gotta start somewhere. I enjoyed my birthday quite alot, had cookie dough b and j's ice cream for a cake.. it was pretty cool. my little sister even got me a present the cute little thing, that was thoughtful. *chances are ill never say it to her though* haha.

The national day parade... another way to propaganda us to vote for 80 year old presidents that get 2.3 million dollars a year.. yeah Mr Narthano gets 2.3 friggin million, no wonder he wants to go for another five years.. damn.. if u realised.. thats more money than even the presidents star charity grossed. I hope he called the 1900 numbers few thousand times coz he seriously shud have considering the size of his salary. Oh yeah and dont forget our mighty saviour lee kuan yew, oh dont we all love the man hu refuses to retire and decides to sit behind the chair behind the prime minister eating his prunes and calling himself the "minister mentor". I got three wonderful letters for mr lee, the sick bastard who implemented this chinese scheme that has led to my being ridiculed all these years,CPF... (not like he needs it, if narthano gets 2.3 million singapore's saviour probably gets much more)... till now sitting in chinese class is something i wince at the thought of. Almost as much as going to church in fact. And believe me. Thats alot. Ive had enough bad experiences with christians, and yes, i have christian friends and i do not ridicule them in any way, but i do detest some people whom practise this faith, and these people have ruined my view of christianity. Yeah believe it or not there was once i went to church voluntarily.. but now.. i dont know anymore... my mind has started to wonder and question the accuracy of the bible *yes i have read the one i got free on the way to school* But hey, there's probably only one person on earth that'll be able to make me go to church, three guesses who. =P Peace.

phunk me good.

2005-07-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

If you'd give a listen to songs like wake me up when september ends and i dont wanna be by green day and gavin degraw respectively, you'd realise tt amidst the catchy tunes lie a much deeper meaning. Ive gotta say tt im glad songs are starting to address very real issues, both on a personal and global scale. Wake me upp when september ends undermines the suffering of a soldier, one of the many who gave their lives to fight for power hungry lunatics who enjoy to throw their weight around. Wars are so avoidable... yet Bush and his lackeys seem to want to keep their people and the thousands of innocent iraqis in a tempest of suffering, agony and sorrow. However what does a teenager know about these issues? True that most of us arent very well informed about these issues. But we are informed enough to know tt blood has been spilled unnecessarily. And i am and will always be a strong believer that life is the most valuable thing in the world. The power of a life is amazing, the difference we can make with one life is astounding, Gandhi was one man, Martin Luther King Jr was one man, J.k Rowling is one woman. With their one life they have inspired us, made our world a better place and captivated us with their books i wait god damn three years for. Look at it this way, when Dumbledore died.. i swear i was going to cry.. it was like i lost an old friend. And i bet there are millions out there who felt the same way, with those few words that she typed millions of tears were shed. Yeah, no shit. So never underestimate yourself, dont forget tt all these people were once ordinary people like us, never give up on your dreams, because chances are if u try hard enough youll get there. =)

I dont wanna be is an amazing song, if you watched one of the earlier episodes of one tree hill you'd realise that payton drew one of her doodles with the caption "you are not one of them". The message tt "i dont wanna be" is trying to put through is basically reflected by tt doodle, that everyone is unique, and that you should never have to abide by the rules of others, or be dubbed "cool" by ur peers to feel good about yourself. Look at me, many call me fat.. i dont really care.. because im happy with what i am, and i feel that im better looking than most people to say that to me anyway. And quite definitely a lot smarter. (not being obnoxious, just being honest). So get out there and be happy with what you are, coz everyone is special( yes even you marjorie dear). Like ive said before, you dont have to care what others think, because all that matters is you accept yourself, once you do that, people will start to accept you. Because well. "You are not one of them". =) Peace.

P.S - bad ppl response is frustrating so if your visiting please do comment. thanks a bundle ya'll.

shoooting them frogs from above the well.

2005-07-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

hey people.. im back on enema. so start posting comments and stuff as per normal yeah?

So here's how it goes... have u ever felt like someone was so perfect.. beautiful, intelligent, witty, resourceful.. everythiing you ever wanted? Reality check people, chances are that person has an unkown flaw... a kink in the system.. or is possibly lesbian or gay. (you really never know) However discovering tt flaw brings about a deep sense of excitement and ultimately draws us back to that person again. Weird huh. It's an interesting cycle no one quite understands, if someone could write a book telling us everything about love, i'd gladly mash my balls with a mallet. However love does help mould a person into who they eventually end up being as an adult, face it, chances are your current boyfriend/girlfriend isnt going to last you another good couple of months (naf and fique excluded of course =P ) however every relationship does somehow prepare you for the future, they may change ur attitude, ur way of looking at life.... well many things... So screw the anti BGRs who seem to think life's all work and no play. I have to say i think that people like SPG give us uptight singaporeans a breath of fresh air, loosen our overly tight underwear so to speak, you guys shud check sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com out, if u look past her overly active sex life, she is a very brilliant girl who's opinionated in all the right ways. If Singapore had more people like SPG who could think for themselves and not live in ignorance and stupidity, our nation would be a better place. Everyone is confined by something, there's always something stopping us from doing what we feel is right ,no not your conscience,thats needed but not always necessary, but instead our superficial minds, we are blinded by what others take to be "cool".. we abide by theiir rules so as not to be ridiculed just like those "dorks", but who are these dorks but the non conformists who care to think for themselves and not follow the ridiculous rules set by thoose not worthy of controlling us. So my friends i dare you, to wear long socks, to listen to techno to do whatever the hell you want because its your life people, and noo one should control it but you.

Need permission to land...

2005-05-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

Isnt life the greatest thing ever? Im on cloud 9 right now... im feeling so awesome.. perhaps its the extremely sweet cofee and tea i had for breakfast and lunch respectively.. so lets start off with what happened this friday ok?

So early in the morn, during assembly, in my sexy PE shorts i had to go take my debate cert. haha.. Well, its great news that Ms Nora didnt sound like im gonna be off the team any time soon. And congrats to Nadiah and Hui Zhi for getting 18th and 12th respectively. Whats with me and respectively today haha.. well congrats u guys, u deserve it! And congrats to Yee Jie and dina too, good job guys! Even Mrs Thong came to congratulate us, ah sometimes u gotta give it to that hag.. maybe she got some good in that sick demented heart of hers. After that went for healthy lifestyle.. haha.. did "power walking" so funny.. me, fiq and syam looked like complete idiots shaking our ass while supposedly power walking... haha... it was a good workout though... my thighs hurt. Oh and karthik got his topic. " should teachers be made to wear uniform?" i'll try to help him and ill try helping naf too. Best of luck u guys!

*almost wish u would have loved me too*

"Almost" is the greatest song ever.. got it from the greatest girl ever.. =) ...
So lets see.. saturday was a stupid day... studied maths for awhile.. then played runescape for a looong time.... lazed around the whole day... what a dumb day...

Today we initially planned to have a decadent breakfast at han's bacon and eggs, the works. but we ended up going to the indian place in sembawang cottage... good food. indian food rocks my undies.. lol... then i took a quick shower and wore my totally amazingly cool umbro tee that i love to pieces.. went to watch "guess who" funny movie.. bernie mac is hilarious.. maybe one day ill be in that position.. hu knows right... then i came back.. chatted with people... yup thats about it.

My life is finally starting to become happy again... and ive finally realised that i truely do love her. New love. New tee shirt. Haha... what more could a guy ask for.. wish me luck people.. for i think i finally found the perfect one... =) ... Peace out ya'll.

Dont let my door hit your ass...

2005-04-28T05:36:00.000-07:00

Im relieved, for i have finally gotten over this defeat, Mrs Thong told me something. Something that made my confidence go way back up. Currently im feeling mixed emotions. Firstly I feel really nervous and jittery... its mainly because of the fact that i may not keep my place on the debate team, BUT, on account of the news i recieved, i have seen the light. Heh. Maybe there is a god.. and he sent me a message... to never give up on your dream. So all the best to karthik. 3/9 forever!!

Secondly ive been feeling really down lately... i dont know... it hit me hard... and it made me think alot... does she think of me... does she respect me? All i know is that i love her... but as usual im getting too emotionally attached to a girl... shall i let my soul be shattered.. once again because of a completely avoidable situation? I dont know if i could handle something like that again.. especially now... whilst im on the road of redemption... What can one do? These feelings seem unavoidable... staring out the window wishing she was there with me... in a faraway place... *Marvin, do you understand? What question are we on?* ... *Umm.. cher.. er...(Siti wispers in ear) oh cher! 2e!* Yet i still seem unable to believe that any girl wud have feelings for me.. maybe she's never really seen me up close.. hah... she'll hate me so much... and think im fat and ugly... heh. enough with my low self esteem.

So once again, im enjoying life. I'm living it to the fullest. The fullest being a good game of street bandy. Amazing game! Love it to pieces. Good lord i have to get into shape. Lol. How many times ive tried right... no one really knows how hard it is.. ah well... one hour of solid steet bandy left me utterly pancit... *kepala buto! Pass lah!*

What is love? Its not the flowers.. its not the kisses... its being willing to do anything to make sure the person you love is always happy... Have i loved? Sure... Am i loving now? that my friends... is a good question... Peace out ya'll.

She said that i'm not the one....

2005-04-25T04:16:00.000-07:00

ok so im getting bad response from u guys... would u please comment... thanks...

So finally the cold truth has sank into my defeated soul... the boundless agony and the intense pain of defeat has left a bitter aftertaste... ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, karthik is better than me... I did my best, i was proud of my performance.. but it just wasnt good enough. *give me another chance lord... another chance to realise my ambition* SO the representative for 3/9 is none other than Mr Karthik Mohan... and all has been lost for my cause... The hard work has all gone to waste... My dream of beng the best in Riverside... shattered... food has lost its taste... and life has lost its meaning... Why dont we have another round for the top 5... i had less time to prepare.. im sure, given the chance, i'll make karthik have to work soooo hard for it, for my blood sweat and tears will be poured by industrial amounts, into my dream. Tomorrows vote... will be pointless, karthik has won, and i have accepted the cold fact that he is better, and that i will never be great, i will never be the debater i have promised myself to be... i will never be.... my best and more... this series of defeats in life has lead me to the point that... giving up is the best option... i'm quitting the debate team.. my pride will not allow me to debate ever again, unless i had at least done well in this competition. I cannot work with the fact that i am second best... that im not the astute speaker i aspire to be... he has outshone me... and i will forever be damned, to the lousy, sickening feeling, of not being the best, when u know you could have been, given the chance. I had so much to prove... but i guess i couldnt, for even a intra class public speaking competiton has left me having persued a fruitless endeavour... SRJC debater... i think not. If only our class was allowed 2 speakers... What? So what if we're three nine! I love my class and i will do whatever it takes to bring them glory! But WHAT? We're 3/9 so we can only have 1 speaker? ABSOLUTE RUBBISH! TO HELL WITH THE DISCRIMINATION! I'M A NINER FOREVER AND IM FREAKING PROUD OF IT! So to those hu think 3/9 is hopeless, to those hu look down on us... u will all see... u will.... all see.

So it leaves me here, with nothing but a congratulations to give to karthik, ur the man, ur the big shit, ur the best. And im confident we'll push each other to achieve great things. You deserve it man, and i'm proud that three nine has such a great speaker representing them.

Quite contrary to the icing on the cake, my love life is a complete mess... she totally likes someone else.. cmon.. the signs on her blog are unmistakeble... foolish foolish me... to think such a great girl wud like and ugly, fat, shitty, loud mouth idiot like me? Why wud any girl ever love me... im a monster... damned to a life of solitude so that no girl has to suffer the agony of calling me their boyfriend... curse me.. curse fat stupid jiwang me.... and i hate ppl hu think that coming to three nine is a misfortune... pls lor... for gods sake... whatever.. like i can make a difference... my lifes a mess... u know what i got now? Runescape... fucken geeky ass runescape... humph.. like anyones reading... like anyone cares...

Rainbows

2005-04-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

Some people spend their lives,
Chasing rainbows, so I'm told,
They chase them till the day they die,
But never find their pot of gold.

I've never been much for that,
To me, life has not been kind,
There seemed no point in chasing,
No pot of gold to find.

There were no rainbows in my life,
Just a lonely, darkened shroud,
Till a beautiful ray of sunshine,
Broke out from through the cloud.

Perfect there in every way,
In multicolored hue,
That ray of sunshine changed my life,
That rainbow, it was you.

The clouds now all have vanished,
And warmth replaces cold,
I still won't be chasing rainbows,
For I've found my pot of gold.

( one of my best, it even got on a poetry website!!! im really proud of this one... ) oh.. and im really sorry abt my recent outburst bout marjorie... sigh.. was just very pissed... dont mind me yeah... sorry.. peace out...

Breaking stuff to look cool...

2005-04-20T03:24:00.000-07:00

*Here i come to save the day!!!*

Yes readers, i'm back and with my well constructed blog entries as well. hah. So life has been allright.. currently the most important thing going on, for me of course, is the public speaking competition. Dam.. 3/9 is a tough class to excell in speaking.. but of course, speaking has always been my forte, and i dont plan to be second best. I must say the competition is getting to me... Karthik and Liyana were fantastic, but of course, so was yours truely. My intense rivalry with karthik is really pushing me to be the best that i can be. I have so much to prove, especially after my terrible julia gabriels campaign... I'll be the best Riverside has ever seen, you'll see.. i'll prove it to all of you... to Mrs Thong, to Miss hesly, to Miss nora, you'll all see, ill sweat, ill bleed, i WILL be the best, and no one is gonna stop me, not karthik, not Thongs constant putting downs, not anyone. So look out 3/9, im gonna ge the next big shit, you'll see. Its a challenge im ready to pit myself against. I'll work hard, it wont be easy... but i will be respected as a great debater... i want to LEAD the riverside debate team to SRJC glory... move over hui zhi, im coming through.

But these are, after all, just words, words of pure determination and passion.. but ultimately still words.. and words, prove nothing. So ill show you, starting with 3/9, i'll show u guys that im the real deal, im the big shit.. ill beat down my rivals and I'll be great on monday, ad you will see me on that stage. And i'll shine. I will.

For some reason, the riversidian community seems unable to refrain from asking me for advice. So hat has left me in deep thought.. that perhaps its a calling, perhaps an advice collumnist? I'll be in a postion where ill help people with their lives.. i am however also aware of the vicious cons... what if i give the wrong advice? Your playing with people's lives... you could cause alot of harm... But considering how i could make a difference in people's lives... it is an attractive job possibility. Ok, back to earth... ive been chatting with izza quite abit lately... and its really great... im really happy... her words always seem to comfort me... and make me feel all warm and nice inside.
*slaps self repeatedly*
ok.. i realised that im really lagging behind in my studies... its irritating... my POA is haywire.. i really need to focus... how many times chitra has threatened to call dad already.. aiyo... its not safe... i better work hard.... anyhoos... dont stop commenting ya'll... see ya'll, peace out.

*and when u see her standin there... with green eyes and long blonde hair.... lalalalalalala* :P

Dont leave me all alone...

2005-04-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

*i'll be fine... its not the first, just like last time but a little worse*

Thoughts come from the strangest places... like just now... while under an immense tau pok.. coutesy of cher, gary tris and aziz.... groin punches and all.. i suddenly realised that ive been a terrible person... ive been insensitive and stupid.... especially to this one girl... please izza... dun misunderstand me... we really have ta talk... So after a sudden barrage of rejections my once large amount of exercisable options is wearing thin... Have i been too selfish.. too self centered... i think so... ive been so obsessed with what i wanted.. that i forgot to take into consideration the feelings of my aptly named "options"... Its just that... ever since Pui Ye... ive never really had a decent relationship... i never felt the same way with any of the girls ive been with... and its been almost 2 yrs... yes i was young... sec 1... and i didnt know what i was doing.... but hell... did i love that girl.... back to the point.. ever since then theres been this emptiness.. and ive been single for a LOOOOOONGGGGG time... theres this hunger.... this lagging hope of having the same thing i had with puiye with another girl...

This sequence of events has led me to the devastating truth... that perhaps i may never find the ever needed "one"... all the girls i could have are totally nice people... some funny... some incredibly pretty... some steal food.. haha... but.. somehow... i dont have what i had with puiye with well, them. She loved me... even when i looked like crap... i was fat and nerdy and look like absolute rubbish... how times have changed... hehehehe.... egocentric.. need i say more? So yes indeed. Her love wasnt material... it was... unique.. special... it left me in complete ecstacy... and since then.... nothing seemed to have filled that hole in my heart...

But, i still have faith... and perhaps that will be enough to enable me to weather this storm of solitude... Perhaps one day... one lucky day... ill find... the "one", my queen, my life and of course.. my heart. So ive found out that "f" doesnt like me... there we go... and i totally dont deserve izza.. not after what i did.. your an amazing girl.. and you'll find ur prince charming... and ill be happy for you... to know you are getting what u deserve. the best.

On a lighter note... school todae wasnt bad... i skipped POA re-test... i had "tuition".... heheheh... lets see... nothing to report really... Fu Wei didnt come... chinese was nonsense... i dont really learn anything from moony... but when have i ever learnt anything from chinese teachers huh.... So then the wankers came over to my place.. and the lone wagger of course tagged along... we had fun.. played runescape.. tau poked the shit outta each other and played some halo. Guy time is really great... so when they went back i had dinner at the coffee shop near my place... not bad... so here i am. Updating my blog, hoping that perhaps i have regular readers. hehehe... anyhoots. please do comment... my blogs boring without ur coments... Peace out**

P.S happy belated birthdae to liya and congrats to our band for getting silver! Wohooo!

Style ah brudder!

2005-04-12T05:48:00.000-07:00

*Girls are such a drag*

Well today i was feeling totally cool. Didnt feel self conscious and vain as i usually am. For once in my pitiful existence i was completely happy with the way i looked. Smiled at a couple of girls on my way to school and when they smiled back i knew it was going to be a good day. How wrong i was...

You guys must think i suck... my days always seem crappy. But its my blog. So bite me. Nyenye. So upon entering the MRT i took a seat which was conveniently warmed by the previous rather robust passenger. I exited the MRT and on the walk to school I waved at ling xin and jamie and gave them a smile then walked to school, pretty much alone. Saw felicia and her ummm.. small... boyfriend. And thats about it. I reached school, saw deenah, she rolled her eyes at me... -_-''... ah what to do... people hu dont know me well, often hate me. *shrugs* (i just realised i have wasted a good minute of your lives by telling you about my ridiculous journey to school, once again, bite me)

Lessons were ok... PE was fun.. played bball with Yee hang joon kiat shawn and sam. And i can officially certify that i suck in basketball. POA wasnt as bad as i anticipated. Chitra was in a pretty good mood... English wasnt half bad either.. wrote a pretty allright essay... maths... aiya dun say lah... im starting to detest Des... that even rhymes... sigh... he's so... over ambitious and over zealous... its like he's trying too hard to do his job and in turn not doing it as efficiently as he could... ah.. but hu am i to question teaching methods... Ong lay hoons lesson wasnt bad. had fun drawing all those stuff. I hope she gets a good review by jalil!

Got released and went to lepak for awhile... i couldnt find her.. heh... she's lucky i couldnt... i was fuming... anyways the visit to red cross home was immensely depressing... i actually cried.. how freaking embarassing.... but really... they were so... pitiful... the deformed joints and the screams for their loved ones was enough to drive me straight to tears... i realised how lucky i was to have such wonderful supportive parents and a perfectly healthy body. And i apologise to all three niners.. hehehe... lost track of time.. :p... Anyways on the way back sat with tristan and was thinking to myself abt the meaning of my life.. haha... deep right? Well anyways... we wanted to tau pok karthik but the bus driver got pissed... stupid up tight hernia... reached school.. played in the comp lab.. went home. Thats about it for my day. Oh and i totally love my new seating arrangement, Sarah and dayana are great to talk to. I even did some stupid survey and bitched abt ppl on sheets of paper. Sweet. haha. Well thats it... and for gods sake wud u ppl comment! lol... Peace out.

Better man...

2005-04-11T04:50:00.000-07:00

I just experienced an epiphany.. one that changed my view on this whole love situation.... i realised that this resentment has aided me to forget the past... and to move on... for i knew in my heart we would never have been. So now apparently, im a free man. My heart has been unchained... well at least for the time being... this leaves me free to weigh and exercise my growing list of options. I started crushing on someone else already... whats wrong with you Marvin!! Hu knows... anyone could be the long awaited "one".

Anyhoots, i did my public speaking speech todae... pretty good i have to say... heh... usual egocentric Marvin... *In a raging tempest of desperation, anything could happen* love that line.. used it in my speech... what? Dan Brown is a good writer.. and well using his vocabulary has helped me... heh why am i explaining to you for... duh....

Apart from that today sucked... long and draggy as a monday could ever be.... the performance in the hall was rubbish and a complete waste of my life... i got screwed by Des coz of ma stupid laziness to complete maths assignments... he even said that we are sure to fail the next CA... ah.. screw him.. imma show you... dang weasel...

I returned home.. drained and tired from the tough day.. *home shud be a place of sanctuary* wink ;). So then i went online.. to my delight she was online... hopeful of a deep warm conversation i said a simple hi.. only to be called a freaking pervert... so get this.. my so called "friend" ... told her that i was interested in her coz i was sexually attracted to her... now what the hell is up with that... what did i ever do to you lor!!! BITCH! You've lost a friend u cursed witch... What is wrong with you... aiya.. i guess everyone makes mistakes.. even god... such ppl live only to make peoples lives miserable... another good example is that shithead Uncle of mine. eh chair. ;). Good thing i sorted things out with her... so she knows the truth.. and not some ridiculous story... So here i am.. updating my blog for you guys... keep commenting yeah? Peace out ya'll.

Cold and stale.

2005-04-10T03:40:00.000-07:00

"She was the moon, basking us in her glow so elegant and pale..."
I was a fool. A fool to believe that she would still feel anything for me... the feelings we once had now cease to exist. My hopes and dreams. The chance of my ever being happy with someone i love... are now all dead. I've let so many go for her... why me lord... why me... so now im left... with none to love, and with none whom love me. You must think im such a desperado... with no life except all this love crap... maybe its true.. hu cares... KIFA... thats the clue im giving u all. there are four hu are in my life now. Guess. Anyhoots, todae was boring shit.... i wrote my speech on family violence.. i must say it isnt that bad... perhaps i am living for something else. my debating... my public speaking... and my sports... yeah.. life has some meaning after all.

So at abt 1 i went for lunch.. went to delifrance.. had tuna pie... nice... the hot chocolate really warmed my stale insides...

I was so heartbroken just now... to know that they still love each other... maybe we just arent meant to be... i would have sold my soul for her... no joke... so maybe ill just rot.. rot forever in this boundless agony of my lovelorn soul... [send someone to love me, i need to rest in arms, keep me safe from harm, in pourin rain....] Peace out.

Decisions decisions...

2005-04-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

So heres the thing.. ever felt your life was empty... felt broken and cold because your just so alone in this world? This insufferable solitude of one's life can lead him down the road to the haze of suicide. Thats how i feel, how empty life is without one to love. Perhaps your being petty Marvin... after all... your just a kid... some kid stuck in a gigantic body... your not mature enough to love. Rubbish. Sometimes i feel that its not just the lack of love directed towards me, but the lack of love given to that someone special. So i read nafeesa blog.. and when i heard herself condemn herself and said how she was a lousy girlfriend, i felt that it was absolute crap. If only i had a girlfriend like that.. hu was with me for 2 years.. hu loved and cherished me for hu i was and not for her own petty materialistic needs. Perhaps ive already found her... i know i have actually... but somehow... everything is against us being happy together... ahhh... there are so many girls hu could possibly be with me.. but somehow.. i've never let that place in my heart go to any other.... quit dwelling in the past... you'll never have her... not again... "If i could save time in a bottle, i would save every day till eternity passes away, just to spend them with you..." sigh... Peace out.

Hey people. Welcome to my shitty ass life.

2005-04-09T03:08:00.000-07:00

So... ive decided to start a blog yup. I dont know how to decorate it and stuff but who cares huh. I just wanna use this as a place to put my incoherent thoughts. So yeah. I'll try to update like, as much as possible. so stay tuned. Ta~~